My Neighbours Are — Phantoms

Existing literature on hauntings focuses on castles, graveyards, and cursed heirlooms. There is a significant gap regarding rental properties with double-glazed windows. Smith (2021) posits that ghosts avoid HOA meetings, but this study suggests they may simply be attending them invisibly.

The concept of "neighbourhood" is predicated on shared physical space, mutual inconvenience, and the occasional exchange of garden tools. However, what happens when the neighbours cease to obey the laws of physics? Since moving into 42B, the author has observed a consistent failure of the residents of 42A and 42C to produce any verifiable biological signs of life. This paper argues that they are, in fact, phantoms . my neighbours are phantoms

Their network, "PHANTOM-5G," is password-protected but has no detectable device connected. Yet the router blinks furiously, as if transmitting data to the void. The concept of "neighbourhood" is predicated on shared

Between 3:00 AM and 3:15 AM nightly, distinct footsteps traverse their hallway. When the author knocked during this phenomenon, the footsteps stopped. When he returned to his own apartment, they resumed. This is consistent with the "Schrödinger’s Neighbour" paradox: they exist only when unobserved. This paper argues that they are, in fact, phantoms

The evidence strongly supports the hypothesis: my neighbours are phantoms. Future research should focus on whether they are friendly phantoms (likely to borrow a cup of ectoplasm) or malevolent phantoms (likely to rearrange my cutlery drawer at midnight). Until then, the author recommends heavy curtains and a white-noise machine tuned to Gregorian chants.