The boys sit on the curb outside South Park General Hospital. Kenny is alive again (for now). Cartman is in a full hazmat suit made of old KFC buckets. Kyle sighs.
The real problem is people.
End credits roll over a pixelated version of “My Sharona” played entirely on kazoo and coughing sounds. Want me to adapt this into a script excerpt, fake episode review, or meme-style summary?
People lying. People panicking. People turning a virus into a team sport. And Randy Marsh, attempting to sterilize his weed with a tanning bed.
But this time, it’s different. The virus has learned. It now spreads through awkward eye contact, passive-aggressive Nextdoor posts, and Randy’s Tegridy Weed farm (which he rebranded as “Tegridy Immunity—now with 10% more horse dewormer”).
“I can’t believe we’re doing this again.” Stan: “Dude… we never stopped.” Cartman: “Screw you guys, I’m going to the ICU—they have free Jell-O.” Kenny: (muffled) “Mmff mmff covid mmff.”
